Tears

They Say Men don’t Cry

They say men don’t cry,

but if you scrutinise my words, 
you will see the dry tears
and hear the hurtling screams of anguish.
You will see the bloody snort right where failure punched me on my face.

They say men don’t cry,
but if you carefully read my face,
you will notice the dry tears
Painting a stream of
All the salty water excreted
When my heart was torn
And grinded into atom sized particles.

They say a man doesn’t cry,
but I am not just a man:
I am a troubled man;
Whose emotional scars are
Perceived by the blind.
A troubled man,
Whose inner cries are
Heard by the ears of the deaf.
They Say Men don’t cry.

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Why Did You Have to Leave

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I used to lie on your bedside,
Now I cry on your graveyard
They told me you went to a holy place
And that’s where you are only safe.

 I asked if I could come visit you,
They said you’ll come in my dreams,
I need you mom, you’re my only peace
Why did you have to leave?

 Remember our dream?
 I wanted you to be in the front row sit when I graduate,
You told me that you would be, but now why did you leave?

 I grieved for your death, but I still couldn’t heal,
It has been a long while since you left and
Pains like it was yesterday I still feel.
Why did you have to leave?

 You said I should read a bible everyday because,
That’s the way to live.
 You said that you’ll always be with me if I stay a good child,
But now you are not here, did I do something wrong Mom?

 I’m sorry if I once bought you tears.
I was young and immature;
I promise I would do anything to see you smile,
I withhold my tears and act strong in public,
However mom, I’m immersed with fears.
Why did you have to leave?

 I cry gazing at your photos,
Missing: the smile that made me bright,
The hug that detained the mothers love,
The warmth of your presence as well as
The voice that made me laugh out loud.
Why did you have to leave?

I Have Travelled!

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I have travelled in many roads, roads full of sorrow, roads full of joy.
I have seen the worst; babies abandoned by their own parents,
but then again, I have seen the best; parents devotedly raising their infants.

I have been there:
The place of gold and success,
the place of dust and failure!
I have seen it all: blood, tears as well as ecstasy

I have been through hell on my way to heaven.
I have made noise that teaches.
I have evaded the nastiest preaches

Thus through all the tears I’ve shed
and through all the laughter’s I’ve had,
I know that, One day I will be free from all the torments and the joys,
One day I will have to meet with either the Devil or the God.

Thoughts of a Death-Bed

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As I lay on this upset bed,
which has been the last bed for many;
I imagine my daughter kneeling beside me,
tears rolling down her cheeks,
starting off lively and then weakening as they reach her chin,
until she finally wipe them off with the palm of her hands.

I think to myself: I resemble her tears:
I have ran out of strength and pace,
It’s only a matter of time,
until I am wiped-off the Earth’s land and face.

I watch her through the corner of my eye;
looking at her helpless father dying an agonising death,
She sees me struggling and she knows nothing can be done to revive me.
“Hold on dad…” she says without any hope.
Thoughts race on my mind and the one that strikes me harder than my physical pain is:
‘On her own, how will she cope?’

I hear her soft voice trying to spark a conversation once more,
Except, I choose not to speak,
for the fear of leaving her with uncomfortably uttered last words.
I can’t let her remember, “The last time I spoke.”
That’s the sight I would not want for her.

I look away in mirth, remembering our lifetime;
I almost feel sad about the gap that I  am about to leave
and the confined space  am about to be limited to.
‘No last words from me,’ I say with my heart as I turn to look at her,
‘I hope I had said and done enough.’

I’m Afraid Of Crying

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I’m afraid of crying!

What if I cry and never stop?
Who will wipe my tears?
This happy ‘attire’ is exhausting me.
I don’t want to wear it anymore, except it makes things easy.

I’m afraid of crying!

Everyday, I sit-by, observing the sun as it sets,
wondering how many days left for my happiness to appear.
My life has been overcast by anger and fear.
I want to go far away, I just want to disappear.

I want to escape from this pain:
The pain that runs deep in my veins and piercing my heart within.
My tears have become friends with me.
I live my life in disguise: I’m not full of smiles,
the inner me is flooded with cries.

Yes!  I’m afraid of crying!
What if I cry and still feel the pain…?